dedicated to my family. our love, compassion, and support connects together through our spirit. may gzhemindo and all of our ancestors comfort us and offer us peace, strength and courage to carry each other.
prayers whispered connect with winter’s breath
carried on a wind that will blow in your hair
the wind is warm from the fire that burns in your honour
and carries offerings for peace and comfort
sleep is gonna whisk me away to another realm
where everything is rainbows and unicorns
but i am falling.
my body feels like it is plummeting to the earth
i catch myself and jerk awake
only to lay for hours imagining you
in all your innocence, freedom
and carefree way.
my body sinks into the bed
heavy with this ache that pushes
against my chest
hours pass. eyes burn.
my restless body pleads
to my higher self
to do something. anything.
burn some sage
hold on to some tobacco
let those tears come
but all of this gets mixed with thoughts
of the dark kind
i see myself with a mask
slithering in the shadows
watching, waiting for that perfect moment
where i will find the one who caused so much pain
but i catch myself. i am falling. i jerk awake.
my hand is clenched, nails digging into skin
when i open it, tobacco is wet and fragrant.
my body leads me outside
there’s a ring around the moon in a cosmic embrace.
i hold my hand out and let the tobacco
go and trust in it.
at a round dance, the drums gather
for you. for me. for all of us
our stepping legs leading the way
our hands sweaty yet, still we hold on
slippery, we grip tighter
knowing that we need every hand to complete this circle
with each step we lay down our prayers
with each beat our hearts stoke the fire that is growing
these songs are a gathering of love
and comfort for all those with us, and away from us
i catch myself thinking of you.